and Speaking of Happiness...

It is wonderful how once something grabs my attention, I start stumbling over it everywhere I look. Remember when you bought a new car, and suddenly you were seeing that model all over the place? What is marvelous is how our unconscious brain works so hard to give us what we ask for.

So now that I'm seeking to give my life a happiness tune-up, I find the elements of my research every day, even when I'm looking at other things.

I was on the Forward Motion writers forum yesterday, and there was a discussion of flow.

I was reading a political blog this morning, and there was a discussion of forgiveness.

At that point I tripped over the mother lode of happiness tune-ups at the Happiness Project Toolbox.

I'm s l o w l y working my through The Rough Guide to Happiness by Dr. Nick Baylis - slow because I need to meditate on the points he makes and connect them to my own life and decide how to implement them.

It is O.K. to be happy, and to want happiness. Happiness is not self-indulgence or narcissism, or ignoring the needy world. Happiness is not synonymous with pleasure, and wanting to be happy is not being a pleasure-seeker. Somewhere in my Calvinist background ancestors, I think happiness got a bad reputation. Let me be very plain: happiness is not "un-Christian" and it is not selfish.

I wish you a truly happy day, engaged with your inner self, and the people and the world around you. I hope you find something to do where you enter flow, and that you savor it later.

Pesky Inner Child

"Oh look - the pool's open!"
"Nothin' to do with us."
"But, but - I want to go swimming!"
"Too cold."
"See, there's people in the pool."
"We AREN'T going swimming."
"They're having fun."
"No."
"Remember floating in sunshine?"
"Can't go. We'd look silly in a swim suit."
"No one will notice us."
"It's too cold for swimming."
"Not anymore. Today will be 89F."
"All right. You win. We'll go this afternoon while everyone's at work."

My inner child skips in a circle chanting, "We're going swimming."
I mutter, "All our flab will show, and all the wrinkles and liver spots - "
"But it will be FUN!" chortles my inner child.

I smile.

Happiness - thoughtfully

Dr. Nick Baylis, author of the newly released book The Rough Guide to Happiness: Practical Steps for All-Round Well-Being, spreads his passion for living life to the fullest in his work as an experienced therapist, lecturer and columnist. He begins by explaining what happiness is not: it is not the definition given by Freud -the sum of our pleasures minus our pain. According to Baylis, pleasure and happiness are not the same.

Pleasure is a transitory state dependent on our physical sensations or emotions. Happiness is a deep rapport with life: with others, with nature, with our own conscious and sub-conscious.

I could read The Rough Guide to Happiness in one day - and then forget most of what I read. Instead, I'm approaching it as an opportunity to make changes in my own life, by embracing the ideas in his book one by one. Yesterday I went for the longest walk in a year, exploring the neighborhood around our apartment. It was not the bicycle ride I would have done in years past, but to do nothing because I can't do what I used to enjoy would be to quit the struggle to remain actively engaged with life. And it is a struggle most days, but that is no reason to give up.

There was a merry wedding in the park we passed by, with a horse-drawn carriage for the bridal party. In this recently-built neighborhood, the houses were architected in a style strongly reminiscent of old Portland, and the charming streets reminded me of days from my childhood. A bank of pale pink climbing roses wafted a scent that brought back the rose trellis in our back yard when I was in grade school.

Sights, sounds, smells, memory: engaged with my world, myself, a satisfying afternoon to save in my memory portfolio.

1,263 pages

Yesterday I brought home Cyteen and Regenesis by C. J. Cherryh. Together they add up to one thousand, two hundred and sixty-three pages. I don't know what I was thinking. I have an audio book and another book to read and review, and Beggars in Spain to re-read for a Science Fiction group.

On Grey Hair and Wrinkles

My husband and I both engaged in risky behavior when we were young: speeding cars, speeding jets, speeding boats, etc. We liked to go fast. We also did not think we'd live to be over thirty (that was old!) and we didn't plan for living long and well. Short lives but happy was practically our motto.

So now he is seventy and I'm getting there, and we really are quite perplexed to discover grey hair and wrinkles in the mirror. How did this happen to us? One day at a time, I suppose, but still, we aren't any older in our hearts.

Perspective changes though. On Monday at the periodontist, the hygienist, who I had assumed was newly out of high school and no more than twenty years old, told the dentist he just turned thirty. I nearly choked. Not only do I feel as if I'm walking around in a weird disguise like an 'old person', but really old people like thirty-year- olds are disguising themselves as high school kids. This just is not acceptable. I'm going to get out my belly-dance CD before I start really believing I'm as old as I look.

Don't Miss Your Life: a review

I requested "Don't Miss Your Life" from the Library Thing Early Reviewers group because of the word "Laughter" in the title. The book lives up to its title. I giggled. I tee-heed. I snorted. I laughed out loud. Then I laughed so hard that tears ran down my cheeks. I laughed so frequently while reading "Don't Miss Your Life" that my husband asked to borrow the book when I was done with it.

Charlene Baumbich lives up to her reputation for humor. Better yet, the "Grace" in the title is fully accessible, and especially in the last few chapters. I made notes all over the first three-fourths of my copy, but for the last fourth, I could only read and drink in the assurances that we all have been given the ability to live, love, laugh and share our gifts, however small, with others.

Baumbich relates hilarious stories from her own life that are very freeing, and I found it easy to relate to her. I know that the next time I want to give up and drop out, or the next time I trip and fall down, I will think of Charlene, and I will choose differently. Because how could I take myself too seriously or stay angry when I'm brimming over with grace, laughter and happiness? Oh, I'll still get mad or huffy, but I won't live there for long with the memories from "Don't Miss Your Life".

I didn't just read the book, I inhaled it, I wrote all over it, and I laughed, chuckled and giggled my way through it. I was sorry when I got to the last page. Guess I'll have to look up her back list - I'm addicted to humor now.